Well I've been Online dating for a few months now. I've met up with several guys and I am learning that dating in today's world is more complicated then when I was younger. Maybe it's because I am doing it Online and it's so different then meeting someone the old fashion way.
Most of the guys I meet in person, I end up having no sparks that fly or no connection. I chat with these guys Online and I hit it off and actually seem to have chemistry with them when we chat, but then when I meet them in person...nothing. I can't say that for all the guys I meet. There are 3 guys that I did feel some kind of chemistry with, but the others...nothing. I've met about 9 guys so fare.
The 3 guys that I liked, well one of them was too shy to kiss me or do anything...like ridiculously shy. He could text me all sorts of things, but when we met, he was paralysed with shyness. He was only in town for a few months for his job and got really busy with work, so we didn't meet up again. We texted each other for a few weeks until I finally told him to stop.
The other guy I had a connection with, we ended up kissing on the first date. But by the second date, that feeling kinda fizzled out. I left that date not wanting to see him again. That was 2 weeks ago. He has contacted me again but we have not been able to hook up. I'm willing to give a 3rd date a try. Then I will know if there is anything.
Now the guy that I had the most connection with, I ended up seeing for some time now. He was not looking for a serious relationship, so our relationship was casual. I would see him about once or twice a week and we would text everyday. But he did not want a relationship, so I ended up still staying Online and dating other guys at the same time.
So after about 6 weeks of this, he told me that he was reconciling with his old girlfriend and that he was going to try and make it work between them. They had been separated for 2 years. I was shocked and heartbroken. Even though our relationship was casual, we were developing feelings for each other. I knew the score coming into this type of relationship with him and I wished him good luck with her.
So about a month after that, he sends me a text saying that he would like to hook up with me again. I thought that it probably did not work out with his girlfriend, but no, the girlfriend was still in the picture but he said that he misses me and still wants me in his life. So this is where I am with him right now. I'm torn between being the other woman and wanting to be with him. We connect on a physical level that I have not connected with in the past before. It's hard to say no to him. I'm really torn. I know the answer should be so clear...stay away. But it's hard when I have such a strong chemistry with this guy. I can just hear a bunch of women saying that I would be such a bitch to be with him. I wish it was that simple to decide.
Not sure I am sold on Online dating. You meet a lot more people this way but it's not quality, it's quantity. So right now, I'm looking at it as a way to broaden my circle of acquaintances. It allows me to get out and meet new people. But my expectations that I will meet my soul mate thru online dating is quickly dwindling away. I don't have a chance to meet new people in my normal day to day life, so this is a good alternative for now.
Saturday, 19 November 2011
Saturday, 20 August 2011
Online dating
So I've been trying online dating lately. I've been on this one site for the last few weeks and I am enjoying the attention I am getting. Lots of guys sending you messages in your inbox, telling you that you are cute and that they would like to chat. What else can a girl ask for? Talk about a morale booster!
Being married and out of the dating scene, I never knew how easy it is to hook up with someone just for sex. For some reason, I always thought it would be complicated or finding a friend with benefits would be hard to find. Well, I'm discovering that it ain't that hard. Like really not hard at all.
So there are a ton of guys on this site that say they want to have a relationship but when you start chatting, all they want to do is talk about sex. What's up with that? Like maybe they could meet the person first and then check to see if this could be a friend with benefits kind of relationship or something more. But noooooo, most of them start with that in mind. It actually ends up being a turn off. Not that I am opposed to a FWB kind of relationship, but I would like it to start a bit slower then at the first contact.
So I have been chatting with a lot of guys. I’ve had very different experiences. Some guys will initiate the chat and then have nothing to say beyond, Hi! How are you?. Others talk about their truck. Like don’t you know you are talking to a girl and if you want to talk about your truck then you should go to a bar and talk with your friends about it because I could care less about your Ford 150. Others are more rounded and will actually show interest in getting to know you. So far, I have met up with some guys, which I will write about a bit later.
So, I’m giving this online dating a try, as I really don’t have the opportunity to meet up with guys. Most of my friends are girls; well actually, all of my friends are girls. I work with a bunch of girls in my section with the exception of a couple of non-available or not my type guys, and I don’t go out to bars or pick up joints. So at the moment, I am having fun with this and who knows what this will bring to me in the future.
Being married and out of the dating scene, I never knew how easy it is to hook up with someone just for sex. For some reason, I always thought it would be complicated or finding a friend with benefits would be hard to find. Well, I'm discovering that it ain't that hard. Like really not hard at all.
So there are a ton of guys on this site that say they want to have a relationship but when you start chatting, all they want to do is talk about sex. What's up with that? Like maybe they could meet the person first and then check to see if this could be a friend with benefits kind of relationship or something more. But noooooo, most of them start with that in mind. It actually ends up being a turn off. Not that I am opposed to a FWB kind of relationship, but I would like it to start a bit slower then at the first contact.
So I have been chatting with a lot of guys. I’ve had very different experiences. Some guys will initiate the chat and then have nothing to say beyond, Hi! How are you?. Others talk about their truck. Like don’t you know you are talking to a girl and if you want to talk about your truck then you should go to a bar and talk with your friends about it because I could care less about your Ford 150. Others are more rounded and will actually show interest in getting to know you. So far, I have met up with some guys, which I will write about a bit later.
So, I’m giving this online dating a try, as I really don’t have the opportunity to meet up with guys. Most of my friends are girls; well actually, all of my friends are girls. I work with a bunch of girls in my section with the exception of a couple of non-available or not my type guys, and I don’t go out to bars or pick up joints. So at the moment, I am having fun with this and who knows what this will bring to me in the future.
Friday, 19 August 2011
A few days at the cottage
I just spent 3 days at a friends cottage. It was awesome! You have to understand that I am not a nature loving person by nature. I do love looking at beautiful landscapes and admiring the beauty of nature in all it's splendour, but I usually don't have a need to go to the country to rejuvenate myself. I can do that perfectly well on the paved streets of the city.
This cottage is actually a trailer with an addition that is permanently parked just about 100 feet from the lake. I drove down there with my son and my friend that owns the trailer late Monday morning. I have not seen this friend in probably over a year. We used to work together and used to hang around a lot more, but as life happens, we hardly see each other anymore. We connect on Facebook and keep track of what each of us is doing. So this was a real treat to finally get together and catch up. On Tuesday, 2 other friends of ours that also worked with us were joining us with their kids too. It was definitely going to be a great few days.
The highlight of the time passed together had to be getting drunk on Tuesday night. A few cosmo's, some Bailey's and that was enough to get us all laughing our heads off and sharing stuff we might regret in the morning. We had a blast! The last time I got drunk was 10 years ago (and actually with the same girls ha!), so it was long overdue. I think everyone should get drunk at one point. It just kind of let's yourself go for a little while.
I did not want to come back on Wednesday night. Between reconnecting with my friends and lying for hours on the hammock, it just seemed that this trip to the country was exactly what I needed. The feeling of being completely relaxed is great.
This cottage is actually a trailer with an addition that is permanently parked just about 100 feet from the lake. I drove down there with my son and my friend that owns the trailer late Monday morning. I have not seen this friend in probably over a year. We used to work together and used to hang around a lot more, but as life happens, we hardly see each other anymore. We connect on Facebook and keep track of what each of us is doing. So this was a real treat to finally get together and catch up. On Tuesday, 2 other friends of ours that also worked with us were joining us with their kids too. It was definitely going to be a great few days.
The highlight of the time passed together had to be getting drunk on Tuesday night. A few cosmo's, some Bailey's and that was enough to get us all laughing our heads off and sharing stuff we might regret in the morning. We had a blast! The last time I got drunk was 10 years ago (and actually with the same girls ha!), so it was long overdue. I think everyone should get drunk at one point. It just kind of let's yourself go for a little while.
I did not want to come back on Wednesday night. Between reconnecting with my friends and lying for hours on the hammock, it just seemed that this trip to the country was exactly what I needed. The feeling of being completely relaxed is great.
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
I want to discover sex again
I always thought I had a great sex life when I was married. Ok, let me rephrase that, I always thought I had a great sex life at the beginning of my marriage. My ex and I had mind blowing sex at the beginning. Well, it was mind-blowing for me. The kind that makes you scream and think that there is nothing better in the world then this (and there really isn’t). I was young and I thought that this kind of sex would last forever. We had sex often, for a long time and it always ended with an orgasm for both of us.
At the beginning, we experimented with different moves, discovered what we liked and what we did not. I guess over time we found our niche and stuck with it. Right, why mess with a good recipe when it works for you?
Well, fast forward to today and now I discover that the first 8 years of my marriage were my best sex years and after that, everything gradually started going downhill. Around that time was when our sex life became less frequent. We had the same routine, the same moves and I did not complain because it was still very satisfying, just not as frequent as I wanted it to be. That was my complaint, not frequent enough. I liked the connection we had when we had sex. Actually, we never had “sex”, we “made love”. My ex was very clear that we were making love, not sex. I was not looking to be more creative. I just wanted more of it, like when we were first married. I’m not sure, but around the 8 year mark, I think we were maybe having sex once a week by then. Still ok, but we did not have children and we had 9 to 5 jobs, so there was really no excuse for us to be too tired or busy to have sex more often.
My ex was my first boyfriend and the only man I have ever slept with. I was his first too. I thought everyone out there had the same sex life as me. I thought I had a healthy sex life.
As I got older and sex became less and less frequent, I started getting hornier and more impatient. I never bought a sex toy to satisfy myself because I thought something had to be wrong with your sex life if you had to revert to using one of those. And I was not about to admit that my sex life needed help! So I just got more frustrated with my husband. Him and I talked about our sex life and our expectations a lot because I brought it up. As the years went by, we were having sex maybe once a month. That frequency worked for him but it did not work for me. Add a child to the mix and well you can imagine how that went. When our marriage reached 16 years, our sex life became almost non-existent. Sex was every other month or so and eventually every other trimester. My frustrations grew. We talked about sex, or lack thereof, but that was it. Just talking, no action.
So now, I am older and wiser and I want to discover sex again. I want that mind blowing sex that I deserve. I want to feel wanted, sexy, loved and needed. At 42, I am way too young not to be experiencing great sex. You know, when you are deprived of something, it seems that is all you want. I just think of sex now.
It will be weird to be naked with somebody else but then again, maybe it won’t. I know that there is a lot more out there then just the same moves and routine…and I am looking forward to learning and discovering someone new again. As I will be dating men that have previous sexual experience, I’m sure I will learn quite a few new tricks. And I am looking forward to it. Maybe I will even get a little sex toy to keep me busy on those lonely nights! Time to change :)
At the beginning, we experimented with different moves, discovered what we liked and what we did not. I guess over time we found our niche and stuck with it. Right, why mess with a good recipe when it works for you?
Well, fast forward to today and now I discover that the first 8 years of my marriage were my best sex years and after that, everything gradually started going downhill. Around that time was when our sex life became less frequent. We had the same routine, the same moves and I did not complain because it was still very satisfying, just not as frequent as I wanted it to be. That was my complaint, not frequent enough. I liked the connection we had when we had sex. Actually, we never had “sex”, we “made love”. My ex was very clear that we were making love, not sex. I was not looking to be more creative. I just wanted more of it, like when we were first married. I’m not sure, but around the 8 year mark, I think we were maybe having sex once a week by then. Still ok, but we did not have children and we had 9 to 5 jobs, so there was really no excuse for us to be too tired or busy to have sex more often.
My ex was my first boyfriend and the only man I have ever slept with. I was his first too. I thought everyone out there had the same sex life as me. I thought I had a healthy sex life.
As I got older and sex became less and less frequent, I started getting hornier and more impatient. I never bought a sex toy to satisfy myself because I thought something had to be wrong with your sex life if you had to revert to using one of those. And I was not about to admit that my sex life needed help! So I just got more frustrated with my husband. Him and I talked about our sex life and our expectations a lot because I brought it up. As the years went by, we were having sex maybe once a month. That frequency worked for him but it did not work for me. Add a child to the mix and well you can imagine how that went. When our marriage reached 16 years, our sex life became almost non-existent. Sex was every other month or so and eventually every other trimester. My frustrations grew. We talked about sex, or lack thereof, but that was it. Just talking, no action.
So now, I am older and wiser and I want to discover sex again. I want that mind blowing sex that I deserve. I want to feel wanted, sexy, loved and needed. At 42, I am way too young not to be experiencing great sex. You know, when you are deprived of something, it seems that is all you want. I just think of sex now.
It will be weird to be naked with somebody else but then again, maybe it won’t. I know that there is a lot more out there then just the same moves and routine…and I am looking forward to learning and discovering someone new again. As I will be dating men that have previous sexual experience, I’m sure I will learn quite a few new tricks. And I am looking forward to it. Maybe I will even get a little sex toy to keep me busy on those lonely nights! Time to change :)
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
Saying
''God doesn't give you the people you want; He gives you the people you NEED... to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be." Unknown Author.
This is a saying that I have seen a few times and it always makes me think. Depending on where I am in my life’s journey, it will mean different things to me.
If I am having some kind of issue with someone, I wonder, what can this person be bringing to my life? What is the meaning of them being here? And why am I going through this? What did I do to deserve this? I never seem to have an answer to any of these questions.
When someone is loving me, I usually don’t question why they are in my life, I just like them being there and hope it continues. But how are they shaping my life?
Many times, we only discover how a person has changed our lives many years down the road as we come to realize that if that person had not been there, at that time, our lives could have gone in a totally different direction.
If God only gives you the people you need, then I wonder what are other people receiving from me that they need. Who am I to them? Have I hurt them? Loved them? How am I contributing to the person they are meant to be?
Life is a journey, that’s for sure, but it can also be a mystery. We shouldn’t question everything. Just live!
Friday, 5 August 2011
One of the joys of being single
One thing about not being married is that I can cook whatever I want. I don’t have to change a recipes because there are mushrooms in it or eating chicken too often or worrying about adding spices. All things my ex did not like and that I had to manoeuvre around at supper time. This week, I made chicken, seafood pizza filled with stuff he doesn’t like, and planning on more chicken with tonnes and tonnes of mushrooms. Sounds good to me!
I just have to make what I like and I don’t have to worry about anyone else. Or I can have a late snack in the afternoon and not worry about not preparing any supper if I’m not hungry later, which is something I never did when I was married. I won’t have to ask my husband if he doesn’t mind me making a pot of my stinky soup because it’s made with cumin and he doesn’t like the smell of it, let alone the taste of it. Or cooking the mushrooms separately just for me because he can’t stand them or omitting them altogether. Or passing on recipes that are spicy or that are different from what we usually have.
My son is still at the age where you can give him anything and he will eat it, with the exception of a few things, which he just picks off his plate. I have never really cooked things according to his tastes; he just gets what put in front of him. Although, he is starting to develop likes and dislikes lately. We’ll see how that goes in the future.
The only down side to this is the portions. Cooking a fabulous dinner for one (or one and a half) does not always seem to be worth it. I do love cooking for a crowd. But then again, if you consider who you are cooking for in the first place (which is me and my son every other week) then we are totally worth every minutes of that time spent in the kitchen.
I guess I will also have to alter the amounts I buy at the grocery store. Steak for one please! I won’t have to buy tons of cheese anymore either. I will never buy another can of baked beans again (I’m sorry but they are just nasty!). And I will never have pancakes for supper ever again. I’m really not a breakfast kind of person, at any time of the day.
Cheers!
I just have to make what I like and I don’t have to worry about anyone else. Or I can have a late snack in the afternoon and not worry about not preparing any supper if I’m not hungry later, which is something I never did when I was married. I won’t have to ask my husband if he doesn’t mind me making a pot of my stinky soup because it’s made with cumin and he doesn’t like the smell of it, let alone the taste of it. Or cooking the mushrooms separately just for me because he can’t stand them or omitting them altogether. Or passing on recipes that are spicy or that are different from what we usually have.
My son is still at the age where you can give him anything and he will eat it, with the exception of a few things, which he just picks off his plate. I have never really cooked things according to his tastes; he just gets what put in front of him. Although, he is starting to develop likes and dislikes lately. We’ll see how that goes in the future.
The only down side to this is the portions. Cooking a fabulous dinner for one (or one and a half) does not always seem to be worth it. I do love cooking for a crowd. But then again, if you consider who you are cooking for in the first place (which is me and my son every other week) then we are totally worth every minutes of that time spent in the kitchen.
I guess I will also have to alter the amounts I buy at the grocery store. Steak for one please! I won’t have to buy tons of cheese anymore either. I will never buy another can of baked beans again (I’m sorry but they are just nasty!). And I will never have pancakes for supper ever again. I’m really not a breakfast kind of person, at any time of the day.
Cheers!
Friday, 22 July 2011
The week in review
I enjoyed my week on my own. It was nice to be alone. Although by the end of the week I did not really feel like I was alone. I saw my son every night this week except for Wednesday. I saw him on Monday because my ex needed the car, Tuesday I saw him at soccer practice, Wednesday I only talked to him on the phone, on Thursday soccer was cancelled due to the extreme heat but I asked my ex and son if they wanted to go to Dairy Queen for a treat, so I saw him then.
I am really tired this week as I am having a hard time sleeping. Falling asleep is the worst. As the week is progressing, it’s getting worst. Never falling asleep before midnight and waking up before 6 am. I’m the type of person that needs 8 hours of sleep, so I am getting more and more exhausted as the week is progressing. Like extremely exhausted. I feel like I am suffering from insomnia. This happens to me when I am stressed out and I need to figure out what is causing the stress. I do realize that seeing my ex and talking to him everyday is causing me some stress. I need to get away from him. I need to have some distance between him and I for a while. When I think of our relationship, I get upset. I’m mad at him for doing this to us and forcing my hand.
On another note, I went to a Zumba class on Wednesday. A friend of mine started going and asked me to go with her. It was fun! A full hour of jumping around and shaking your booty to latin music is great. I lacked coordination at times (ok…many times) but it was fun. I can’t remember the last time I smiled for a full hour while doing exercises. LOL! They break for the next couple of weeks due to summer holidays, but I will definitely be going again in August.
After work tonight, I will go get my son for a week. I’m anxious to see how he will take the back and forth from mommy’s place to daddy’s place. He seems to be doing well though.
I am really tired this week as I am having a hard time sleeping. Falling asleep is the worst. As the week is progressing, it’s getting worst. Never falling asleep before midnight and waking up before 6 am. I’m the type of person that needs 8 hours of sleep, so I am getting more and more exhausted as the week is progressing. Like extremely exhausted. I feel like I am suffering from insomnia. This happens to me when I am stressed out and I need to figure out what is causing the stress. I do realize that seeing my ex and talking to him everyday is causing me some stress. I need to get away from him. I need to have some distance between him and I for a while. When I think of our relationship, I get upset. I’m mad at him for doing this to us and forcing my hand.
On another note, I went to a Zumba class on Wednesday. A friend of mine started going and asked me to go with her. It was fun! A full hour of jumping around and shaking your booty to latin music is great. I lacked coordination at times (ok…many times) but it was fun. I can’t remember the last time I smiled for a full hour while doing exercises. LOL! They break for the next couple of weeks due to summer holidays, but I will definitely be going again in August.
After work tonight, I will go get my son for a week. I’m anxious to see how he will take the back and forth from mommy’s place to daddy’s place. He seems to be doing well though.
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